hydrangeas where poppies should be

dear you,

How many times have I begun to write to you this year with the urge to talk about the disconnection of time? It is how most of us (those in my constellations of intimates) begin conversations, or drop into them, like keywords--like we could SEO the dreamscape of non-reality we've been occupying.

So I won't talk about time, either its realness or its in-authenticity. I think you already get the point.

But I will say that the skies outside are hazy and thick, the world is orange and gray, and if I feel like I haven't been outside in years, it is because I actually haven't been outside in days, and that should give you a sense of skewed temporality. The mobile alerts say, like up-down horses on a carousel: open your windows, shut them tight, wear this mask, no this one, shelter-in-place, evacuate, rolling blackouts, don't use electricity.

I read an article once, recently, I can't remember when or where, in which a POA who had been living in captivity for five years finally remarked the following when she was free: I will never deny myself cake again, and I will wear perfume every day.

When I do go out of the house, on furtive dog walks, I find myself looking at the trees: where are the magnolias, no, that's January, this is a rubber tree, where are its tropical siblings? Why do I expect to see golden California poppies busting through the cracks in the sidewalks when the season for them past? Why do I close my eyes and first think of the brilliant bougainvillea of my desert youth, not the plants that have lived outside my windows for the last twenty-three years?

And is there merit to this cross-referencing? Is there value to living in the landscape entirely created, mod-podged together? Very likely yes, I think. Where else can we go?

When we get out of this, I will never again deny myself the intimacy of strangers in public. I will wear my openness to the world every day.

With love,


  • Because learning is keeping me grounded right now, I want to extend the same to you. I'm offering a discount to tinyletter readers of 20% off of classes + consultations, until September 22nd. Just use the promo code 'POPPIES'.

  • I'm in the thick of getting my new ghostwriting company, Brightly Human LLC, off the ground. Have a project you'd like writing, editorial, marketing (I'm newly certified in Online Marketing) or project management assistance with? Contact me.

  • I've also started offering sliding scale/trade birth chart readings, in order to deepen my astrology practice. Have questions about your chart, an upcoming or current transit (like, Saturn Return)? I'm here for you. Shoot me a message.